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Wednesday, December 24, 2003

It Gets Trickier and Trickier 

Well, well, well. Not only do I have to pour over descriptions, apparently I have to pour over press contacts and other things I thought were minutiae. Come to find out, Iron Jawed Angels is an HBO film and if it isn't optioned by one of the major distributors at Sundance, it's going to be on HBO. My fabulous brother Bob is going to Tivo it for me. I'm finding that some of my top movies are already optioned by major distributors while others remain on my top 10 list.

Saw LOTR: Return of the King. For those of you familiar with my movie rating scale: WORTH paying $8 more than once.

For those of you not in the know, here's my movie rating scale, from best to worst. I'll use it frequently on this Blog when I'm at Sundance.

Worth $8: This means that I thought that the movie was well worth waiting in line, sitting next to someone (instead of an empty seat) and paying $8 (or $10 for those of you on the coasts) to see this film. This movie has to touch me in a very deep place to get this rating. Fancy special effects and chick-flick status doesn't cut it. Movies in this category include the Lord of the Rings trilogy (but not the second movie), Boys Don't Cry, Wings of Desire, The Matrix (only the first one), American Splendor and The Apostle. As an aside, I very occasionally say that a movie is worth seeing more than once at $8. I haven't said that about a movie since Shawshank Redemption, in 1994. It's been a while.

Worth a Matinee: I liked the movie but not enough to pay $8. Definitely worth seeing, especially on the Big Screen, if you get a chance but don't go out of your way or pay too much to do so. This usually means that I was entertained by a movie but was not profoundly moved by it. Movies in this category have been things like the Star Wars series (especially the new ones, definitely need to see them on the big screen but definitely NOT worth $8), Bridget Jones's Diary, and so forth.

Worth Renting: I liked it but not enough to eat movie theater popcorn (except for, of course Riverview Theater popcorn), and wished I had shared the expense for the movie with someone. These are the more mainstream movies with big stars. I watch these movies when I want to laugh or escape from reality and have nothing better to do with my time. Movies with Hugh Grant usually fall into this category. I like them but they are mostly forgettable.

I Want My Money Back: Definitely did not like this movie. Movies that fall into this category include Forrest Gump (yes, I was one of the three people in the US who really didn't like that movie), The Piano (with Holly Hunter--it felt like a two hour long rape), and most movies that come out between Memorial Day and Labor Day with few exceptions.

I Want Those Two Hours of My Life Back: Only a small handful of movies fall into this category. There was a "lesbian" movie that I saw way back in 1992 that falls into this category. I don't remember the title, but it was an early attempt at getting at some of the GLBT community's "disposable income". I do remember one of the lines from the film, if you could call it that. It was from this haggard old bull dyke smoking a stub of a cigarette and she said to a completely femme mostly straight woman, "If ya eat pussy, ya eat pussy." I wanted those two hours of my life back.

Let's hope that most of the movies I see at Sundance are of the first two categories because I'm paying way more than $8 to see each film. Maybe when all is said and done, I'll tell you what it actually cost to see each movie!
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